Maybe I'm Single Now

I'll tell you guys what happened to cause the demise of my so called relationship. It's called me being stubborn and not willing to compromise.

It all started on a sunny Thursday morning. Wait..it really started maybe a week or two weeks before that. I invited Ed to go with me for a ride on Saturday to VA. I was planning to meet some people from one of my motorcycle websites. True, it happened to be three old, married men from Vermont, but, they were doing a timed riding challenge and since it's nice to see friendly faces when you're halfway through your challenge, I figured I would show up. Others from the website were supposed to be there also. I never really got a response from Ed, so whatever. I was still going anyway. He can come along if he likes (you guys know, I'm not the bossy type, so he's his own person he can do what he wants).

So on Thursday morning, my bday, I get an email from another biker friend (we'll call him Arthur) asking me to ask Ed to come up to PA and hang out. Arthur and his wife are having a baby sometime in June and figured this would be the perfect weekend for a guy's weekend out. I tell him that I'll talk to Ed and let him know what he plans to do.

I called Ed immediately telling him that Arthur invited him up for the weekend and a few others were planning on going. Ed said 'no, I think I'll just stick around the house cleaning and doing laundry.' I said 'ok, but are you going to ride with me to VA?' He said 'what's going on in VA?' I said 'Some people from my moto. website are meeting up. He yells 'NO, I"M NOT GOING ANYWHERE TO MEET UP WITH STRANGE MEN FROM THE INTERNET.' I said 'Oh, ok then. Talk to you later.'

He came over Thursday evening, dropped off my gifts, drank some Jim Beam and Coke, and got on the computer. I opened my gifts, sat downstairs and watched JJ and some other random shows. At 6pm I went back upstairs and asked if he was hungry and wanted to go to Obrycki's. He said he had already eaten. Well, fine. So I went back downstairs and he ended up going home. I had yogurt for dinner. That's the last I have heard from him.

I told YB that I'm too independent for boys. I will not compromise and I don't think I have done anything wrong. I like to meet people (male or female), and I know these people are not going to kill me. If they do, who cares anyway. I lived a good life and I have no regrets or things that I wish I had done. If I wanted them that badly, I would do them. Ed thinks that I should always hang out with him and if we are a couple we have to do things together. I disagree. I like doing things together, but I'm not going to force him to do things with me. If I want to do something, I do it. I don't need him to define me. I am my own person. He thinks that it is inappropriate for me to show up somewhere without my boyfriend if I have a boyfriend. I asked him if he doesn't trust me. He says he does, but I don't think he's telling the truth. I have never given him any reason not to trust me. I am better than that. I am a loyal girlfriend. If I am in a relationship there's no way I'm doing anything with other people. He also asked me what I would do if he went out with a girl. I told him that if they were just friends, I don't even care. I trust him to not do anything and if he wants to do something, he can tell me and that will be the end of it. Unfortunately, he doesn't have any girl friends so that would never happen.

So, that's that. I guess I should probably call him sometime just to find out if it's the end instead of wondering all this time, but I'm stubborn. I didn't do anything wrong, so why should I be the one to call.

I'm also not apologizing because when you say you're sorry and mean it, you don't do the same thing again. I know that given the opportunity, I would do the same thing again, so I can't say sorry and mean it. We're at a standstill, and it makes me sad, but I will just have to move on.