The Competitive Side of Me

I like to win. No matter what I'm doing, I like to win. I'm competitive when it comes to sports, activities, games, everything.

I played pool at happy hour ONLY because Ryan and I were the first ones there, and he likes playing pool. I told Beergirl that it was my Sam Adams Octoberfest, but I was actually pretty good. I don't play pool often because I suck at it. I try not to let my competitive side show sometimes, but I'm still secretly into the game. A few others showed up, and we all decided to play cutthroat. I lost both times, but by then I was a few beers in, and was more into talking to everyone than playing. Plus, my balance was starting to get wobbly.

I'm reading a book now called Singletini. I went to a different library looking for a book called Broken For You, but they didn't have it. I should've gone to my regular library because I did a catalog search, and the normal library had it (of course). I figured I can't go into the library and walk out empty-handed, so I ended up picking up this pink book with a martini glass on it. It's about a girl in her mid-20s who is trying to figure out life, dating, etc.. It's so silly. She ends up getting a job as a Wingwoman. Her company pays her to look gorgeous, buy fancy things, go out to bars, meet up with male clients, and her purpose is to hook them up with other women in the bars. I read a lot of the book yesterday, and I realized that that girl could be me. When I was out on Friday, there were two girls sitting at a table nearby. I forget why I went to talk to them, but I did. As soon as I started talking to the girls, and was on my way back to the table, MHS, and The Mac (one of Ryan's friends) were headed to talk to the girls. I was their wingwoman. hee hee. The girls were kind of trashy, but whatever. They were nice. Too bad I don't get paid for that. I could never look as fancy as most people that go out, but if I did, I would be a snob.

Last night, I watched "In Her Shoes" with Cameron Diaz. I thought it was a good movie. There's a part where she reads this poem by Elizabeth Bishop called One Art. The poet talks about losing, and how it's not a big deal. Cameron Diaz explains that she is talking about losing a love, and how it's not the end of the world. Perhaps my indifference or never knowing true love affected me. I would know if I REALLY loved. Unfortunately, I never have, and maybe I haven't because I don't want to take the risk. If I can't win, I don't want to play.